Do ya ever feel like you have it all together, only to realize that you really don't? Do you ever wonder why you are in the place that you are, but aren't sure why you are there?
That's me. Now let me preface by saying, I am not down in the dumps or in need of prayers {well those wouldn't hurt} I am just marveling at where I am today. It's in that today that I don't have it all together and I don't know why I am in the place that I am. Simply because I am. That's it. I'm okay with that.
So my week without Alyssa proved interesting. On one hand, I truly enjoyed being able to just fend for myself. Going out to a later evening dinner with a friend, not really caring about time, not even bothering to eat dinner or be on any type of a schedule, and just doing what Elizabeth wants to do was fun. But then I realized how much I missed her, what my life is really about, and how I like having her around. Don't get me wrong, I like having her around but honestly what parent wouldn't want some alone time once in awhile! I did enjoy it. But I'll enjoy it even more when she is home so she can fill me in on her camp experience!
I haven't scrapped in ages. Well I take that back. I created something for AC for their blog that was required of me, but each time I sit at my desk I get sad. Nothing is coming. I don't even feel like scrapping and can't even if I wanted too. It's just not coming. So for the first time in my life, i wondered if I would scrap ever again and how I felt about that if that were to be true. My conclusion? Life would go on. But I know eventually it will come back, it always does. I love doing it but when nothing is coming that's when you just let it go instead of keeping scratching your head wondering why you aren't. So I am embracing it for now and stopping the I must do it, or beating myself up because I am not. Life is like that sometimes.
My dogs. Can I just share so you don't think I am a heathen that I love them, truly I do. But I walked them last night and Jake almost broke my hand by wanting to get to another dog, and Kira barked and jumped around so loudly I wanted to smack her {not really but you get my gist}. They embarrassed me and as I watched Jake running as fast as he could over to another dog my hopes of getting another dog to our mix was dashed as I saw him leap up and try to control the dog and almost bite the dog. He did well for a few minutes and I'd like to believe that he was a little tense because I was
yelling screaming his name and the guy was holding his dog back, while his wife was holding their kids. But it wasn't a friendly gesture he was going for. I got over to them as fast as possible and apologized about 80 times and wanted to smack both of my dogs straight away. I've only ever smacked them on their butts before for things like digging in the trash, or eating something they shouldn't but this time? I truly wanted to dig a hole with them in it. And interestingly enough, the entire walk sucked after that too. I just took them around the block and then home. They both knew I was upset too and sulked all night long, good for them. Nah {insert sticking of the tongue out here}. I decided I won't walk them alone again. Alyssa usually handles Kira because she is easy which allows me to only handle Jake which at times isn't so easy. But with last night, I decided I am over it. And still sad that we cannot get another dog. But such as life. We love them and their stupidness and will just let it be. However when it hits about 4:45 they start getting antsy thinking they are going for a walk, and that drives me nuts because there won't be any walking at least until Sunday.
I sold the table last night to a wonderful family! It is very refreshing meeting someone that is like you. They are walking with the Lord and selling the table to them made my heart warm. As much as i am excited about getting the new table we want, it was sad to sell ours. Dayv and I both loved that table a lot. I drove it to their home and helped them take it in and realized that it was the exact table for their dining area, so it made it a lot easier! So now I sit here typing this looking at the empty space of our dining room. I am going tonight into town and going to buy the other one. I bought the chandelier already and it will be at Lowe's in a few weeks. Exciting stuff, I tell ya! Now to truly start saving for the flooring for the rest of the house!
I love our home. I didn't realize the kind of houses they were going to be building behind us though. Had we actually put thought into it, we could of asked for their plans and plots behind us to see what kind of houses would go up. The house behind us that is caddy-corner is a 2 story house and although it is caddy corner to us they could see right in if they were standing on their porch upstairs. I used to watch her look inside our house when we had the furniture set up differently, kinda strange if I might say... Then we moved the furniture all around and they can't see in unless we are standing in front of the TV. Now there is a house being built, is almost built {and I might add here too that wow, we've watched them build this house in record time} the good thing is it's a one story house. The bad thing? They can kinda see in too. I highly doubt though that they will stand at their window and peer in, like the caddy-corner upstairs folks. That takes more effort. But it's kinda annoying and good all rolled into one. While we have a fence and they really can't see in, it's made me realize the next place we live in, we will take more care to notice our surroundings. I have to share with you that we have a sliding glass door, which I hate. One day we'll have french doors but with this sliding glass door came a sliding blind thingy. I hated it. Loathed it. Took it down straight away the day we got our keys. I am a light person and the sliding blind thingy was cheesy to me anyway. So I put up curtains and have them open during the day and close them at night. It's cute and it works. I think that's why the caddy-corner folks could see in so well, it was just the windows during the day. I need to also insert these caddy-corner peeps are the very same peeps with annoying doggy, who is still annoying but every once in awhile I hear the owners tell it to shut up. Good for them.
Work. I could write a book.. I will say that as fickle as this is going to sound, I am not stepping down to a regular barista after all. Long story short, both D&I felt like the money was enough to make me stay right now with some of the things we'd like to do and accomplish. Also, his schedule will help in homeschooling A so I won't have to be home 24.7. Anyway.. I work with someone that hates me. Yep. Hates me. Interestingly enough, I could care less. However, it makes work very interesting and I do scratch my head wondering what the heck could I have ever done for this person that they hate me that much? My conclusion? They wanted to be boss, sees me as boss and that bothers them. Although I have to interject here and let you know a secret, I'm not the boss. I just do my job and do it well while I am there. Since I do that, I expect that everyone else will work as a team and do the best they can do as well. Everyone does. But I get under this person's skin, completely and utterly. And no it isn't funny. But it is what it is and I try to make the best of it daily. However, there is something new daily that always comes up some how some way.
That drives me nuts. Its gotten to the point where getting rid of said person has been a thought, even though I don't have the power to do that because after all I am not the boss. But I truly don't have any feelings what so ever for this person. I neither like them or dislike them. I just want said person to do the job and that my friends is where my frustrations lie. I don't care whether they likes me or how they feel about me, really. Just do your job so that our store runs smoothly and to the best of its abilities. So with all this being said, I have realized I need to love this person through Jesus because in my own strength quite honestly I am fed up. So if you wouldn't mind praying for me to see them through the Lord's eyes I would most appreciate it.
I am still counting down the days until D comes home. I find great joy in doing that each morning while I stumble to the kitchen. But I loose track of time when we last talk and I've taken to calling him or texting him. I don't know if you have followed me very long but that is very expensive. Last year we raked up a 2000 buck phone bill. Yep that's right, 2000 smackers. Of course we chalked it up to the fact that because we were buying and building a home there wasn't a way around it. He wasn't here and we had to discuss things {of which I will never do again alone}. But we have been very good, and he's still being good with not calling unless its that 15 minute morale call he sometimes gets. However, I want to talk to him and in my impatience ways have taken to texting and calling even though he doesn't answer either one. I have to stop because as I said, that is expensive and in the end I am not willing to spend that much again just to hear his voice. I must find patience and the Lord can only grant me that!
Well folks I am off to go get our new table!!!! Yeah us! Hope your Friday rocks just as much as I hope mine does too!
