I was touched.

On Sunday we decided to go to the later service so that we could run some errands prior to church.
I was so glad that we did, the service rocked. Well it had me sobbing. On top of the great music, the even better sermon I was sitting down praying. I noticed this thing at my feet.
I moved my feet around to try to get it away when I realized it might just be a feather.
And sure enough it was. I picked up the tiny feather, turned to Dayv and didn't have to say a word. He took the feather and showed Alyssa and by this time I was gut-wrenching sobbing.
I mean gut-wrenching. I couldn't hold it in. I was so blessed to of seen that feather and completely and utterly feel my mom. You know the story about that right?
I prayed when my mom finally left this earth to of always been shown some presence of her. Now there are differing views on this one, but I am not God and in the end He is sovereign. That is what I prayed and He has answered it ten-fold. My mom has shown herself with these feathers since her passing. I see them in the most oddest of places where feathers aren't normally for any reason.
Oh.. I should tell you if you don't know. My mom had these feather pillows she always loved them. The feathers were all over our house and I remembered being annoyed by them. But she told me that they were angels kisses and suddenly they weren't so annoying. I found comfort in it. And when she passed away, along with my prayer each of us have found feathers in places, like I said. I find it so comforting. It lets me know there is a piece of my mom still there and present, to me anyway.
So they are playing a beautiful song, and here I am gut-wrenching sobbing. I mean seriously it is hard to be quiet with that kind of cry. There was such a mix of emotions flowing through me. I needed my mom near. I still very much miss her deeply. But today I needed to know she loved me. Through all of the junk that I have endured in my lifetime and growing up, I needed that today. And there was this feather. My mom may have felt a certain way about me, couldn't relate to me, or even begin to understand me but I choose to believe even though she said some very hurtful things to me, that she loved me. Dayv leaned over in that moment and said "you see, your mom does love you." And at that I lost it all over again. But I felt comforted. Loved. Like even though she didn't express that well to me and we butt heads a lot, in my mom's own way she loved me. And today I felt her and that love.
I think I was emotional as well because we are doing so much in our home. It is such a blessing and I do not take it for granted. The size, the location, the anything in our home. This house was blessed by the Lord. But as I was painting the other day I got very sad thinking my mom never got to see it. Heck we didn't even know we were going to be buying a home much less building it! That is how the Lord works though. Things aligned up, and here we are almost a year later. There are times where I wished she could see it. I know that she would be proud of Dayv and I and where we've come from. I know that she'd love to splurge and buy us things for the house and want to be a part of the changes we are making too. And it saddened me that she wasn't here.

I don't often talk of her much anymore on my blog. But it doesn't mean I don't think of her. I still reach for the phone to call her about stuff and want to share. And honestly I am completely thankful of the small ways in which the Lord sees fit to show me that my mom is waiting... I love my mom so very much. I cannot say I was always the best daughter to her, but I truly loved her and I still miss her very much.

I am thankful of the way in which she always is near especially when I need her the most.

On a side note this morning...
I wanted to talk about this woman as well as my mom.

This is Mrs. Peters. She is my mom's best friend. They have been friends for over 30 years.
And today she is loosing her battle here on this earth. I am so very saddened for Mrs. Peters and for her family. Even though I know Mrs. Peters loved Jesus and is going to be with him and my mom, the hurt, pain, and tears are all too real. So today I am praying for Mr. Peters, Billy and Sydney, Curtis, Tracie and their children. I am so very sorry and deeply it is with a heavy heart I will be praying.
Mrs. Peters thank you for being a very special person in my family's life. You were always like a second mom and your gentle, graceful spirit will be a reminder for me in my days of life. I will miss you.