Black Sharpies play an important role in my life.
I use them a lot for scrapping but now I also use them at work.
We write on the cups what a peep is having and today mine ran out.
It simply wouldn't work.
And I realized how much we rely on having them in our apron's day after today!
Sharpie's have always been a favorite of mine, but I gotta stock up for
work like I have at home!! LOL.
I haven't been writing much on here. I don't
have a lot to say as of late! Me not having anything to talk about?
Kind of weird huh..
I have some posts I wrote but they aren't anything great,
but then I realized I don't normally write about anything great..
Oh well. It's still therapy.
So I miss my mom .
I am really missing her right now.
One of my friend's reminded me that normally my mom
would come at this time of year for a visit.
So I think I am missing her something awful cause it's true.
She normally came around this time to visit for 2 weeks.
Of course there isn't a day that doesn't go by that I don't miss her, but
right now, it's just so difficult.
I am still very much baffled by death and her not being here.
I find though that dealing with each emotion is good. Pushing it down or telling myself
to get over it, doesn't work for me. I have to deal it, meet it head on.
So I normally end up talking to her. Yep, I sure do.
It's what we did best, talk to one another.
It seems to fill a void inside of me with not having her here.
In fact, I can still hardly believe she isn't here.
And then on the flip side I am so excited that she is with Jesus.
But my selfish flesh would like her back here with me.
I am very sad she will never get to see our first home
or had any part of that.
I think my heart will forever ache for her.
So in June A is going to the theme park here where we live.
At first D or I were going to go with her.
I was told there was minimal supervision and that bothered me.
But as time went on with it, I realized this is another step.
Neither D or I could get off to go actually.
But it was more than that...
It was allowing her to fly and have freedom to be with her friends
and trust God.
I talked to her teacher yesterday and she explained further how things
will be there, and as I was standing there talking to her
I realized that I felt peace because it was God's gentle nudging of allowing her
spread her wings.
Another one of the many lessons I am sure that we will go through as parents.
It is very hard.
I don't consider myself to be so paranoid or life squeezing of A but at the same time
I find it hard to let go.
It's really about trusting God, it is.
I am ashamed sometimes to admit that I don't do a very good job of allowing God
to love her like he does. I try to step in and control.
But I am happy to report that she is going to go with her 6th grade
class, her friends, and school and it is okay.
It really is okay.
That doesn't mean I won't be praying, but it is time like in my other post to
let go.
And even though it is hard, I welcome the change because it is growth.
Growth is good.
No matter how hard!
I thought I'd leave you with some photos of A's birthday party!
And there you have it folks!
I use them a lot for scrapping but now I also use them at work.
We write on the cups what a peep is having and today mine ran out.
It simply wouldn't work.
And I realized how much we rely on having them in our apron's day after today!
Sharpie's have always been a favorite of mine, but I gotta stock up for
work like I have at home!! LOL.
I haven't been writing much on here. I don't
have a lot to say as of late! Me not having anything to talk about?
Kind of weird huh..
I have some posts I wrote but they aren't anything great,
but then I realized I don't normally write about anything great..
Oh well. It's still therapy.
So I miss my mom .
I am really missing her right now.
One of my friend's reminded me that normally my mom
would come at this time of year for a visit.
So I think I am missing her something awful cause it's true.
She normally came around this time to visit for 2 weeks.
Of course there isn't a day that doesn't go by that I don't miss her, but
right now, it's just so difficult.
I am still very much baffled by death and her not being here.
I find though that dealing with each emotion is good. Pushing it down or telling myself
to get over it, doesn't work for me. I have to deal it, meet it head on.
So I normally end up talking to her. Yep, I sure do.
It's what we did best, talk to one another.
It seems to fill a void inside of me with not having her here.
In fact, I can still hardly believe she isn't here.
And then on the flip side I am so excited that she is with Jesus.
But my selfish flesh would like her back here with me.
I am very sad she will never get to see our first home
or had any part of that.
I think my heart will forever ache for her.
So in June A is going to the theme park here where we live.
At first D or I were going to go with her.
I was told there was minimal supervision and that bothered me.
But as time went on with it, I realized this is another step.
Neither D or I could get off to go actually.
But it was more than that...
It was allowing her to fly and have freedom to be with her friends
and trust God.
I talked to her teacher yesterday and she explained further how things
will be there, and as I was standing there talking to her
I realized that I felt peace because it was God's gentle nudging of allowing her
spread her wings.
Another one of the many lessons I am sure that we will go through as parents.
It is very hard.
I don't consider myself to be so paranoid or life squeezing of A but at the same time
I find it hard to let go.
It's really about trusting God, it is.
I am ashamed sometimes to admit that I don't do a very good job of allowing God
to love her like he does. I try to step in and control.
But I am happy to report that she is going to go with her 6th grade
class, her friends, and school and it is okay.
It really is okay.
That doesn't mean I won't be praying, but it is time like in my other post to
let go.
And even though it is hard, I welcome the change because it is growth.
Growth is good.
No matter how hard!
I thought I'd leave you with some photos of A's birthday party!
And there you have it folks!
1 comments:
I totally understand the in's and out's about missing your mom, because I'm doing the same about my dad! It's sooo hard not having them around in the physical sense, I know! And do you ever just all of a sudden wonder what she's doing and get the urge to call her on the phone? I do that often! Tonight was one of those nights that I couldn't seem to get my dad off my mind. I also get saddened when I think about my dad never seeing our new home either... I know he would be so proud and love it as much as we do! Afterall, I did acquire my dad's taste, lol! But you are right in saying that your heart will forever ache for your mom! That's so true.
I love the photos from A's party, and that cupcake pedestal is darling!!
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