Doing what is right or what is easy.

21 days.
The time seems to be going by fast
but slow at the same time.
Why is that?
You want time to go by slow for something that
you are experiencing but want it fast
when you have to wait for it!
Ah!
I am not antsy. Or anxious.
I am just ready to move.
To get settled in our new home.
What a blessing.
We drove by last night before church
and all the lights were on.
The blue tape gone.
The fridge was in.
Just waiting for us.
I just pray it all goes smoothly.

We've been going to church on Wed. nights.
I've been taking a 1 John class while A is
doing a science/inprov type thing each week.
{she LOVES the inprov A LOT!}
Anyway I know that John is talking to believers here
writing to everyone because of the split with the churches.
Trying to encourage them to love other believers.
But each week as I sit in this class, loud and clear
I keep getting to love those around me at work.
Not one of them is walking.
They don't know Jesus, nor do they care too.
They push me to my limits with their mouths and the things they say.
They have no respect for others that might be bothered by the things that they say,
or do.
They say what they want, when they want it, to whom they want it.
They do what they want, when they feel like it, and how they feel like it.
And I have to deal with that on a daily basis.
For 4 hours.
Now let me just share with you that these 4 hours seem like the longest
of my life while I am there.
Remember that time thing above? It applies here too.
I like most people at my job.
Some I would love to just smack some sense into, but they are young.
And I understand that, I was there once too.
But.. With that being said, everyone there pretty much knows how I feel.
But it doesn't really matter you see. To them they could care less. I am old.
A stupid woman who loves Jesus.
So I work in a Jesus-less place.
Where I am expected to tolerate everything that they throw at me,
but the minute that God or Jesus is brought up, it seems like
the cockroaches get exposed to the light and run away.
*Sigh*
My job is okay.
Please don't get my wrong, I am thankful of my job.
I truly am.
But day after day, working in a place like this is REALLY hard.
I think it is why I am so STOKED when Thursday is over, because it is
my Friday and I leave there for the entire weekend cause I don't work.
I am not complaining here either.
But let me just share that it is hard to in a place where God isn't present.
And this class? Where 1 John is talking to believers trying to encourage them
to love other believers and what not?
Nope. It's screaming to me to love those at work who do not believe.
And trust me, they don't. They've made it perfectly clear to me on several
accounts. And just in a little defense of myself, I am not the preachy type.
I just come at them with where I have been at their age, to where Jesus has
brought me to in the present. Without him I am nothing.

I sat there last night listening, reading, and every thing turned to loving
these people at work.
I must admit it is really hard to love some of them.
It is much easier to not, I'll tell you that.

I am not posting today to talk about those people at my work,
I am here to share in my frustration as a Christian how I have
to tolerate them, but they won't tolerate me?
Last week in church our pastor preached on the Anti-Christ.
He mentioned that it's interesting anyone out there can
say that they believe in God, even love him.
But the minute you bring up Jesus people run away.
Like they've been offended.
It's very true.

And wanna know something else?
I tolerate it at work, because there are ticking time bombs there.
If I said anything to anyone, and some in particular they would explode.
Probably tell me to go _________ myself.
I was there once too. I know that defense very well.
However, I realized last night that the very thing I despise I was doing.
Not saying anything.
I have a right just as much as they do.
And I can and should be speaking the truth in love.
And you know what else?
I don't have to tolerate it.
I have the freedom just as much as they do to say something when I am offended.
And I am going too, when God leads me.

But the whole loving them thing because they aren't believers.
I must admit that will take some work for me.
And that is why week after week John's been speaking to me about this very thing.
Because I've just been tolerating them counting down the minutes until my shift is over.
Just getting by.
Well...

That's not working out too well is it?
Or I wouldn't be getting a message each Wed. night to love them.
To share. To encourage. To speak the truth in love.
When all I want to do is clock in and clock out, doing my time.
Why? Because it is easier.
It doesn't create waves, it doesn't make anyone made, and it doesn't
give them any ammo to come at me in any other way than they already do.

And honestly there are some there that do it to me on purpose.
I can see straight through them.
I used to be in that place. I know what that wall feels like.
I know what it is like to push other people's buttons and actually get some
enjoyment out of that.
It makes you feel better. Like a better person, almost.
Almost.
But it actually doesn't.

So.
I've been taking the easy road out.
But after last night.
I cannot any longer.
Please just pray for my work.
Pray for me to be a light instead of just floating by.
Pray that the words the Lord uses me to speak spreads wide.

365 #56 thingy


It's a couch. I know that, you know that.
But this couch has been in our possession since 1998.
Can you believe that?
It's 11 years old.
It's treated us well too.
It's a comfy couch and
cute too.
Although that isn't my color scheme anymore
and it had a cover on it until recently
this couch has served its purpose in our lives.
It was the very first new couch that D & I bought together.
We both picked it out, and loved it.
It's still in great shape for being so old!
We used to sit on it and watch movies, take naps,
or hang out.
But now it's down in our basement.
But its soon to find a new home.
Right now it's the dogs bed.
Yep. It's there's.
And I marveled today at Kira lounging on it.
Thinking that they are both going to miss it so very much.
Come to think of it so am I!