Not anymore!!
I realized it's true.
I do not choose to carry this burden
any further.
I have laid it down at Jesus' feet.
Constantly.
Yet I find myself having picked it back up again.
I do not have that right anymore!
I realized it's true.
I do not choose to carry this burden
any further.
I have laid it down at Jesus' feet.
Constantly.
Yet I find myself having picked it back up again.
I do not have that right anymore!
Therefore I am letting go.
That's right. 2008 is over.
So is the pain.
The frustrations.
The beating myself up.
I cannot change it.
At all.
Let it go Elizabeth.
This time I laying it down.
Letting it go.
I don't have a right anymore!
Not anymore...
I did this layout
for a challenge over at
The Design Experiment
When I saw it, I knew instantly that the answer to the question
they asked was easy. The same journaling is on the layout as well.
"What burdens did you leave behind in 2008? How did you overcome that feeling to just LET IT GO?"
I knew instantly that I must let go.
I have carried this burden of the way I took care of my mom while
she lived here for too long.
It's been 3 months and 19 days since my mom passed away.
But yet the guilt was there even while she was here.
It was never enough.
I couldn't do it right.
I didn't have it in me to take care of my mom.
She wouldn't let me.
I wasn't a good care taker.
I couldn't let go of the truth.
What I knew..
What she said to me, the truth.
It stung.
And I chose to carry it.
Even though I asked God for forgiveness.
I even asked for my mom's forgiveness.
But I still clung to the guilt.
I held it like a tight string that
cut off my circulation.
I always knew. That truth.
But hearing her say those very words to me, made me want to run
very far away.
They are not words that a mother should ever say to a child.
To me.
But they were there.
They were how she felt.
And because of that, I didn't care for her as Jesus wanted me too.
I should of treated her better.
Should'a, would'a, could'a.
But I didn't.
The love I had for my mom wasn't enough.
Truth.
But...
This time..
I am letting it go.
I did the very best I could.
Even if I didn't do it the right way.
I did the very best I could.
The very best.
And that guilt?
Not anymore!
I am letting it go.
It is not mine to carry.
Not into 2009.
It is a new year.
With new changes.
I am done.
I shall not bare that burden any further.
Jesus, I lay that down at your feet.
I will not pick it up again.
It is yours to carry.
I know I am forgiven.
I know that love is what God wanted my mom and I to have.
And we did.
That is enough..
I know A took these photos of me yesterday. But
they apply for today. This one photo does.
It's my 365 #26 thingy.
Today I am free...
That's right. 2008 is over.
So is the pain.
The frustrations.
The beating myself up.
I cannot change it.
At all.
Let it go Elizabeth.
This time I laying it down.
Letting it go.
I don't have a right anymore!
Not anymore...
I did this layout
for a challenge over at
The Design Experiment
When I saw it, I knew instantly that the answer to the question
they asked was easy. The same journaling is on the layout as well.
"What burdens did you leave behind in 2008? How did you overcome that feeling to just LET IT GO?"
I knew instantly that I must let go.
I have carried this burden of the way I took care of my mom while
she lived here for too long.
It's been 3 months and 19 days since my mom passed away.
But yet the guilt was there even while she was here.
It was never enough.
I couldn't do it right.
I didn't have it in me to take care of my mom.
She wouldn't let me.
I wasn't a good care taker.
I couldn't let go of the truth.
What I knew..
What she said to me, the truth.
It stung.
And I chose to carry it.
Even though I asked God for forgiveness.
I even asked for my mom's forgiveness.
But I still clung to the guilt.
I held it like a tight string that
cut off my circulation.
I always knew. That truth.
But hearing her say those very words to me, made me want to run
very far away.
They are not words that a mother should ever say to a child.
To me.
But they were there.
They were how she felt.
And because of that, I didn't care for her as Jesus wanted me too.
I should of treated her better.
Should'a, would'a, could'a.
But I didn't.
The love I had for my mom wasn't enough.
Truth.
But...
This time..
I am letting it go.
I did the very best I could.
Even if I didn't do it the right way.
I did the very best I could.
The very best.
And that guilt?
Not anymore!
I am letting it go.
It is not mine to carry.
Not into 2009.
It is a new year.
With new changes.
I am done.
I shall not bare that burden any further.
Jesus, I lay that down at your feet.
I will not pick it up again.
It is yours to carry.
I know I am forgiven.
I know that love is what God wanted my mom and I to have.
And we did.
That is enough..
I know A took these photos of me yesterday. But
they apply for today. This one photo does.
It's my 365 #26 thingy.
Today I am free...
8 comments:
Whew...this is huge! Way to let go of a huge burden, Elizabeth. You have encouraged all the people who read your blog.
WOW! It is pretty hard to just leave it for God to take care of, isn't it? I'm sure just doing this layout was helpful for you.
That is just sooooooooo amazing!!
OK...I was able to go on the correct link now...:O
wow, I really love your latest LO.
it's really touching!
and gorgeous!
thanks for leaving me the nice comment on my blog. :)
you know, I am not able to reply...but can bring up your blog by going through the link at IAAS.
I love your strawberry shortcake theme...it's sooo cute!
I have been wondering, and hoping you dont mind me asking.
how long have you been a Christian?
((HUGS)) It is hard to let go, but it is necessary for healing!
Good for you for letting go! Letting God take that burden is just want you need. What an awesome testimony to His faithfulness! (((hugs)))
WOW!! Yea for you, Elizabeth :) From the outside looking in, I think you did an amazing job taking care of your mom!
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